watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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