it wasn't lemon gatorade
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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