Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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