we have pet lesbian snakes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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