maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
