I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize