Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize