on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
