You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This baby is an asshole
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
