i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize