Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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