so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
