I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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