I'm going to jail i love you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
