i wish semen tasted like chocolate
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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