So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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