That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
