smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
