So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
