like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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