I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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