yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
