areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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