and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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