Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
