have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
