every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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