Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
