and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize