he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
