Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
