Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
