she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
