Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
