There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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