Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
