Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
