Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
