cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
