I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
