Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
