We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
