Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
