so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
