It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
