Already got asked if we're dating
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
