i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
