the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
