So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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