I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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