My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
