dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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