there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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