shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
