Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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