North Korea, Best Korea!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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