When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The uberlube is also flammable
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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