Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Two words: blizzard sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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