she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
