the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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