I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
