After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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