Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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