I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
