She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
