Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize