it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize