"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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