Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
