guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
