Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize