Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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