Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
