i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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