My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
