they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
