bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
