A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
