At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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