I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
